From Self-Doubt to Self-Love: My Journey to Confidence

From Self-Doubt to Self-Love: My Journey to Confidence

It all started when I moved in grade 2. I had left all my friends behind and started fresh at a tiny school with just under 50 kids, meaning I didn’t have much choice in who my friends were. We would have sleepovers and playdates, just doing the things little girls do. One day, my friend came to my house, walked into my bedroom, and told me she hated it, saying her bedroom was so much better. It hurt—I remember feeling confused about why she didn’t like my room so much and whether I needed to change for people to like me.

Anyway, I moved schools again, and now I was in grade 3 at a much bigger school with a bunch of new kids to make friends with! It all started out great—until I realized how cruel other kids could be. I found a new group of friends, and school was okay, but at that time, I had swollen lymph nodes that caused me excruciating stomach pain. I told my teacher, but she dismissed me, saying I was fine and needed to stop complaining. She even accused me of faking and once belittled me in front of the whole class, saying, “It’s not good to lie; otherwise, no one will believe you.” I was so embarrassed and in pain, just hoping the year would get better—but it didn’t.

My so-called friends would leave me out, tell me I couldn’t play with them or sit with them. At the time, I didn’t think much of it—I was just grateful to have friends. But by grade 4, things got worse. I had sleepovers with one of my friends where we would swim and wear our bikinis, and she would always weigh herself, talking about how she was on a diet to lose weight. It made me feel really insecure because she was already naturally thinner than me. Even though I wasn’t fat, I didn’t know that back then. During our sleepovers, we would talk and have fun, but the next day at school, she would ignore me and pretend I didn’t exist. I found it really confusing and started to wonder if something was wrong with me.

As the years went by, my teachers became worse, and I never seemed to find friends who were worth my time and energy. Every time I shared my dreams with someone, they would shut me down, saying things like, “Oh well, luckily that’s just a dream,” or “You’ll never make it.” By the time I graduated year six, I was a sensitive eleven-year-old girl who didn’t know what the purpose of life was anymore. I hated the way I looked, hated school, was scared of teachers, and didn’t understand why all of this was happening to me.

Then I made it to grade seven and changed schools to the one I am at now. Slowly, I started to recover from all the trauma, distrust, and anxiety I had been through. I finally found friends who love and accept me for who I am, parents who have always given me the best opportunities to make my dreams come true, and teachers who listen and acknowledge my struggles. I took control of how I viewed myself and made a change so I could become the best version of myself.

To this day, I still struggle with anxiety and distrust, but last year, I decided to start my modeling journey. I took my confidence to a whole new level and began living my dream life. I am incredibly grateful for the beautiful community of pageant girls, and I can’t wait to meet them face-to-face. We are all here to support each other and become the best versions of ourselves.

So, don’t let anyone tell you that you’re too fat, that you’re faking, or that your dreams don’t matter. Never let anyone make you feel embarrassed about something. If you work hard, believe in yourself, and dedicate yourself to your goals, you can achieve absolutely anything you put your mind to

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